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Pin by This Retirement Life on Quotes and Jokes for Retirees Funny

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did. 31. You know you're fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards. 32. You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party. 33. To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid. 34.

Pin by Jerri McAbee on Just waiting to retire Retirement quotes

You or a friend finally made it to retirement age? You've realized that your years of hard work are over, and now it's time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. But retirement can be boring - only can be! So here are some jokes you can tell, keeping the party going! Sharing these jokes? ️️ Please add a link to this article.

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"In retirement, you have two options: travel the world or travel from the couch to the fridge." "The best part about retirement is that you can wear your pajamas all day and nobody cares." "Retirement is the only time when you can start a new career as a full-time grandparent."

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"What do you do now that you are retired?" a friend asked him. "I am fortunate to have a background in chemical engineering and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, scotch and.

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Happy retirement. You were the best boss a company could have. Now go away and don't come back. You started work in the olden days and finished in your olden days. Have a nice retirement. Happy retirement, I'm finding it hard to act like I care. Happy retirement boss. You're going to be missed…by someone probably.

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Celebration The idea of retirement is that it's a time of relaxation, rest, and rejuvenation. But it is not without some hilarious moments. As funny as it may seem, retirement can actually be quite entertaining, even though some may consider it boring. Funny retirement jokes help lighten the mood during times of stress.

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Retirement jokes are funny and old age is certainly a funny thing too. Our bodies start to ache in strange places, hairs start growing out of even stranger places, and our memories start to fade. On the plus side, we get to retire and enjoy a life of leisure. Here's a collection of funny retirement jokes to celebrate that special time of life.

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What are your favorite jokes about retirement? Leave them in the comments section below. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next "best of" series. Who ya gonna call? Fly.

Pin by Marina Lowen on Will you still feed me? Retirement humor

In seeking a retirement job you may be unfamiliar with the current argot (sic) of the profession. And some of these descriptions are not retirement jokes! JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY - We have no time to train you. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

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1) What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired! 2) When you retire, you switch bosses—from the one who hired you to the one who married you. 3) When 'I'm too old for this shit ' becomes your daily mantra, you know it's time to retire. 4) Congratulations on quitting your job without being escorted out of the building.

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Laugh retirement in the face and lighten up with a bit of humor. Use the following retirement jokes and quotes for the final farewell speech, the farewell card, or just for a different perspective while you check your life savings:

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Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay. How can you ever be sure people are happy you get to retire and not happy they finally got rid of you? You're never too old to retire, but you're always too old to find a new job! I hear retired people have a much higher death rate than working people. I wonder what that's all about?

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1. "Retirement is the perfect time to start living like a child again - without curfews and homework!" 2. "Why did the retired teacher become a gardener? Because she wanted to help things grow, even after retirement!" 3. "Retirement is like a vacation in Las Vegas. Your goal is; enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money!" 4.

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Retirement is a significant change in life. You go from an active career to a more low-key lifestyle. It can be a time to travel, focus on your health, and enjoy family and friends. Also, read the following retirement jokes for a good laugh. They're relatable, hilarious, and perfect for sharing. Funny retirement jokes. 1.

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1. How do you know you are old enough to retire? Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! 2. Why don't drummers come out of retirement? Too many repercussions. 3. I know lots of jokes about retirement, but none of them work. 4.